Wow and then a few pages back she’s like LOLOL WHAT IS A GENDERQUEER IDEK BUT PEOPLE WHO POST THEIR TITS ON TUMBLR ARE ALL SLUTS AND IF YOU POST YOURS BEING ALL “LOL NOPE NOT A GIRL” YOU’RE JUST A SLUT LOOKING FOR COMPLIMENTS LIKE EVERY OTHER GIRL ON TUMBLR WHO DOES THAT
I THINK SEXUALLY FLUID PEOPLE ARE JUST FIGURING THEMSELVES OUT AND GENDERFLUID PEOPLE ARE FIGURING OUT THEIR TRUE GENDER
because of course it’s just impossible to have a non-solid identity. All those genderfluid or genderqueer people out there just don’t know what they’re talking about! Clarri is here to raise her eyebrows at us and tell us we’re just figuring our real gender out. Thank you, I needed to be told by a cis girl that any reasons I may have for being genderqueer are probably invalid because she doesn’t get it and people like me are just trying to figure it out and don’t know what they are!
I don’t follow Clarri. I unfollowed her because she pissed me off and since then she’s only continued to be basically awful. I don’t think she’s an evil human being or anything like that and I’m sure she’s perfectly nice to her friends and plenty of people like her, but I can’t take it. She’s ignorant and rude and hateful and I have seen so much hate and ignorance and rudeness on this subject lately
and in case you haven’t noticed, it’s very near and dear to my heart. The internet is basically the ONE PLACE IN MY LIFE where I know people will just fucking accept my identity and see me the way I want them to and use the pronouns I want and use the names I like and not make me feel shitty. This is the one place where most of the people I meet even know what ‘genderqueer’ means and it’s the one place I really feel comfortable disclosing things about my identity.
My home life isn’t bad or anything but my family Does Not Get It and they don’t seem to be making much of an effort to try, so this is pretty much it. This is where I go to not feel like I’m being misgendered and mislabeled and misviewed and treated like some kind of interesting theory.
I know that I can just very easily avoid Clarri by not looking at her blog. No one I follow reblogs her as far as I’m aware and if someone did it frequently enough I’d probably unfollow them because she has a mindset I just can’t bring myself to agree with. It’s toxic to be exposed to.
So this is the last thing I have to say about her for the night unless she by some chance has something to say to me, which I doubt.
I want to say that you, Clarri, and other people like her, might think that your words don’t have any effect. You might think that you’re just expressing an opinion on your blog and no one will get upset by it. But you’re ignoring a very fundamental fact, which is that words mean things. Words make people feel things.
And when your personal opinions are like that, that certain sexualities and identities that people have experienced don’t exist because you don’t get it, and when your personal blog is full of hate and mockery, it affects people. I don’t know of anyone who can sit there and watch their identity be attacked and mocked and not feel bad about it, and if they’re in a fragile mental state it’s even worse.
I’ve spent the entire semester in a slow breakdown and it’s all started coming together in the last week. I have done jack shit as far as schoolwork. Thinking about schoolwork, literally thinking about doing a five minute assignment or opening up a book, makes me feel like crying. I have gone to one class this week. I have a final I think I am literally incapable of doing because it involves speaking.
I have methodically ripped chunks of hair out of my head because, somehow, it made me feel better. This is the mental state I’m in. I’m done. I’m fucking done. If I weren’t going to see a therapist on Friday I think I’d probably just go lay down and sleep and never leave my room again except to use the bathroom.
And seeing things like what Clarri said, and the discussions people on my dash have been having, and another hateful blog someone linked to? Is making it worse. Is making me miserable. Is making me feel hopeless and full of hurt because I have not done a single goddamn thing to these people and would accept their identities whole-heartedly and without judgment, and they have the gall to sit there and say I don’t exist, and I’m faking, and I’m without validity, and I’m probably just looking for attention, and I’m stupid, and all of these other horrible things and they don’t even know me.
That hurts. That hurts, no matter who you are.
So don’t act like you can just say whatever you want with no consequences. You can’t. You can say whatever you want, but your words mean things and have an effect and if you really think you’re allowed to spew hate and venom everywhere and no one is allowed to be hurt or offended or tell you to shut your fucking mouth you shitstain, then please, let me tell you: you’re not.
No one is. No one has the right to be hateful to another person without being called on it or that other person getting hurt. No one has the right to trample all over people’s feelings or be a cockbag and not get called out for being a total cockbag.
You are not free from the consequences and the consequences of your hate are that people will be angry, and hurt, and sad, and scared, and feel badly about themselves, and hurt themselves, and kill themselves, and these things are directly caused by the way you have acted and the things you have said.
You are never not responsible for what you say.